Wow…for a relatively quiet week, there’s so much to rap about…let’s get to it!
BEARS
Typically, when there is bad news to deliver I like to go with the Sandwich Method…you know, good news, bad news, good news. Soften the blow a bit…but in this case, there’s no polishing this turd. This was an absolutely AWFUL week to be a Bear fan. I’d like to take a quick second and thank Dallas for the triumvirate of Barber, Williams and Hurd. Seriously, thanks Dallas…thanks a shart-filled pants load!
BARBER-despite rushing for over 100 yards against a tough Defense, Barber made Tebow’s resurrection possible by not sealing the cave by running out of bounds…something that, as a running back, you learn when you are like 6 friggin years old. That’s okay, everyone makes mistakes, it’s not like he later had a costly fumble that really choked the game away…OH WAIT, HE FUGGING DID! It’s bad enough that he almost single-handedly choked the game away, he made it worse by not Cowboying Up (seewhatididthere?) after the game and facing up to the media. Don’t be a punk! That might’ve worked in West Texas…this ain’t West Texas. We face up to our mistakes here in the Chi. LEARN. BE BETTER.
WILLIAMS-Quiet week for Roy, but rumor has it that he attended a friend’s child’s Christening…when handed the baby for a photo-op, good ole #11 promptly dropped the baby.
HURD-I don’t know who I’m more upset with. Sam Hurd aka Bear Scarface or Da Bears Brass who for some reason had no idea they were funding a giant drug cadre. Seriously, how do you not know this? At the very least it seems they could’ve asked Michael Irvin if he had bought drugs from Sam Hurd…you know, just due diligence! I’m sure he’s a decent Special Teams player, but with the evidence that’s been presented so far…how the hell is this guy still on the roster?
Okay, moving on…season making game this week vs. the Seahawks. Bears are picked by 3.5, the game is at the spaceship…we need this win. No, that’s not passionate enough…CUE THE STRINGS!!! WE DESPERATELY NEED THIS WIN. We will get it…Bears 20 Seahawks 10.
Let’s cheer up a little…and talk about Bulls!
BULLS
They signed Rip Hamilton which is a perfect fit for that team. There was all the talk about Jamal Crawford…we’ve seen that movie. It sucked the first time, why would you want to watch a sequel? Did you go see Twilight? No…then why the hell would you see the other ones, with a moon or something in the title? YOU WOULDN’T…Crawford wasn’t good his first go round…he’s not good now. Rip Hamilton, however, is good. He’s experienced, he’s got the bling from holding the Larry O’Brien trophy. He’s complimentary shooting guard as opposed to a shoot first two. Plus…he actually plays defense. Great move by the Bulls brass. All that being said, I swear to God if they make ANY issue over the stupid head band thing I’m going to personally fly to Chicago and slap Johnny Pax on his bald head. Get over it…don’t just a player by their attire…judge them by their play. Have we learned nothing from the Ben Wallace experiment?
BLACKHAWKS
Two big wins for the Indianhead Tribe. They played a really tough Sharks team for 60 minutes and then decided that wasn’t enough, so they let Patrick Sharp crush their hopes in OT for the big 2 points. Then, not sure if you caught it, but Minnesota apparently likes Hockey again…they’ve had the best record in the NHL for awhile and are quietly a REALLY solid team. Blackhawks took them to 60, not enough…played 4 on 4 for 5 more…still not enough. And then…this happened:
Patrick Kane Amazing Shootout Goal
Wait…I think he just put another deke on Backstrom…wow!
So, 4 out of 4 points, Emery looked really good and it’s a new hero every night. This team looks LEGIT.
Finally…
CUBS
Sources say they may or may not have put a bid on Yu Darvish…I honestly don’t like it. The last thing to come out of Asia that was good was Pokemon cards. Just kidding…subtle, joking racism there folks…lighten up. Seriously though, baseball imports from the East have not exactly worked out: see Dice K, Iwamura, Matsui, et. al. Now, I’m not saying dude can’t be a stud…people I respect in the game are saying he will be. But for $100 Million, if Theo does this…it better work out. Sources also say they may or may not have gotten involved in the Prince Fielder sweepstakes. I can’t blame them for not wanting to commit to ten years for a guy who profiles to look like this in 2022.
Yeah, not great…
Still…make it 8 years and he’ll look more like Cleveland from Family Guy and we’ll still get 6 years of awesome productivity and then we’ll trade him to the Yankees where he can DH and possibly protect the city against Godzilla.
That’s it…hope this week is filled with some happier news…BEAR DOWN…we need it!
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