Sorry it’s been a while, Bears fans, but I had to take a personal bye week last week. Long story short, I had to move. But I did manage to get the cable hooked up in time to see Jay Cutler injure his groin. Now I know many Bears fans are pessimistic about Cutler’s injury. But I urge you Superfans not to worry! After all, this team has gone to [i]two[/i] Super Bowls without Cutler behind center! I think the issue here is not so much the pain of loss, but fear of the unknown. I mean, we have no idea how Josh McCown will play in Marc Trestman’s offense. Most fans don’t know [i]anything[/i] about McCown. So I’m here to shine some light on this mystery man, and point out some of his upsides.
Josh McCown
Born: July 4th, 1979. See that? July 4th. Independence Day. This man is an American, and what better man to lead America’s Team* to victory? Oh wait, I guess America’s Team** is the Dallas Cowboys. Well, he’s a true patrio… no, then he’d be playing for the Patriots. Well, this man can play football for a professional football team. That’s something, right?
*Great, Mike, now we owe Jerry Jones four dollars for using the nickname. – Ed.
**Eight dollars. -Ed.
Pedigree: McCown is the oldest, and some would say first alphabetically, of the McCown brothers. He is the older brother of Luke McCown, who played for the Jacksonville Jaguars, a team in the NFL. He is also the older brother of Randy McCown, who played for the Spring Football League’s Houston Marshals, who I’m sure have a lot of hustle.
College: McCown started for the Sam Houston State Bearkats. Now that may sound underwhelming, but I’ll have you know that many notable players came from SHSU. Scorpio Babers, Matt Dominguez and Guido Merkens are just a few that played in the NFL and went on to have successful Wikipedia entries.
Versatility: Did you know McCown can catch the ball? He lined up wide when he played for the Detroit Lions in 2006 and caught two passes for 15 yards. I don’t have my stats in front of me, but off the top of my head that puts him above Sam Hurd among Bears receivers.
Big Stats: We know Trestman has done wonders for Cutler’s accuracy. But did you know that in 2010, McCown had the highest passer rating in the league? Unfortunately, this fact was overshadowed by the fact that despite his skill, the HArtford Colonials only went 3-5, but McCown can’t be held responsible for the injuries that plagued the UFL that year.
Clutch Factor: In 2008, McCown led the Carolina Panthers to victory over the Atlanta Falcons with an incredible 73-second series of kneeldowns!
See? The outlook isn’t so bad. Why, I’m downright rosy about the Bears chances this season. So take the bye week to relax, take some deep breaths, and have faith in this Bears team and the skill surrounding the quarterback. And don’t forget the most important weapon in Josh McCown’s arsenal of skills: He’s not Josh Freeman.
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“went on to have successful Wikipedia entries”
This is like my favorite phrase in the English language, like ever.